Alone, alone, alone—why do I always feel this way? I’ve been reflecting on this thought since May 2024. That year has been the loneliest for me since I returned from deployment in 2014. I began to question why God would place me in such a situation. While immersed in this feeling, I struggled to comprehend it; I just sensed that something was constantly happening to me, and it felt unfair. Throughout most of 2024, it seemed as though I was navigating the world by myself, making it one of the most challenging periods I’ve faced in a long time. Although I had people to confide in and a few around me, I still felt profoundly alone. Yet, in this solitude, I discovered unexpected opportunities for self-reflection and growth. It was during these quiet moments that I began to truly understand myself, peeling back layers of emotions and past experiences that I had long ignored. This journey inward was not easy, but it was necessary. 

I came to the realization that certain individuals in my life were draining my energy, hindering my sense of purpose, and diminishing my self-worth. Feeling deeply hurt by their presence, I started to isolate myself as a form of self-discipline, teaching myself that I could navigate life independently of them. Journaling during this period became my closest ally, providing me with a space to express my feelings and revisit the challenges I was facing to observe my growth. I reminded myself that as long as I was making progress, I was on the right path. Each entry was like a conversation with my innermost self, revealing insights and patterns that had previously eluded me. I filled pages with thoughts, dreams, and reflections, allowing the words to flow freely without judgment. This practice became a sanctuary, a safe haven where I could process emotions and untangle the complexities of my mind.

In these pages, I found clarity and direction, helping me to set intentions for the future. The act of writing transformed my solitude into a source of empowerment, reminding me of my strength and resilience. Gradually, I began to appreciate the beauty of my own company, discovering that within myself lay the answers I had been seeking all along. I began to understand the reasons behind my solitude. It brought to mind the time when Jesus was in the wilderness. He, too, faced solitude, using it as a time for reflection and inner strength. In that wilderness, he confronted challenges and temptations, emerging with a clearer sense of purpose and a renewed spirit. This parallel helped me see that my loneliness was not an abandonment but an invitation to grow stronger and deepen my understanding of myself.

In embracing this perspective, I found comfort in the idea that solitude can be transformative. It became a sacred space where I could listen to the whispers of my heart, discern the path I was meant to follow, and reconnect with my core values. Just as the wilderness served as a crucible for Jesus, my own solitude was forging me into a more resilient and authentic version of myself. I started referring to this experience as my wilderness journey, and I committed myself to persevere through it, regardless of how lonely or challenging it might become. As I continued this journey, I discovered that solitude was not something to fear or resist but a companion that guided me toward personal growth and self-discovery. My wilderness journey has required courage and vulnerability, and it will ultimately led to profound insights and an enduring sense of peace. I know this for sure because I have been through the wilderness before. In my previous experiences, the wilderness has been a true gift. Each time I ventured into it, I emerged as an improved version of myself. As I took time to introspect and understand my identity, I recognized that God had set me apart in solitude because I hadn’t dedicated enough of myself to Him. I was investing my energy into everyone and everything around me, except for God, who is a jealous God.The primary reason God guided me into the wilderness was to remove the distractions and idols that filled my life.

In this sacred space of solitude, I began to realign my priorities, placing my faith and relationship with God at the forefront. This journey has been truly humbling, revealing how I had let external influences overshadow the divine connection meant to guide me. This insight led me to transform my daily practices; I began to integrate prayer and meditation into my routine, seeking peace and guidance from God rather than from people or external environments. Every day when I rise, my aim is to deepen my spiritual journey. Gradually, I have experienced a growing sense of peace and clarity surrounding me, as if I am being softly guided along a path toward enlightenment. The stillness of solitude has become a fertile ground for my spiritual growth, allowing me to listen more intently to the whispers of my soul and the gentle nudges of divine wisdom. In the heart of the wilderness, I have uncovered a deep sense of purpose and fulfillment that I had not found before. I understand now that solitude is not just a period of isolation but a divine intervention meant to bring me closer to my true self and my Creator. I have truly developed a great deal of inner strength, revitalized my spirit, and emerged with a profound understanding of my role in the world. 

If you’re curious about why I’m writing this blog, it’s because I believe there’s someone out there who feels utterly alone. This blog serves as a reminder that God has placed you in solitude for your personal growth. Embrace the gift of being alone. Solitude is designed to ground you, renew your faith, and fill your heart with gratitude. Do not look at solitude as a punishment, but as a gift. Learn to enjoy your own company, find tranquility in silence, and draw strength from your independence. This change in mindset will allow you to view solitude as a valuable instrument for self-discovery, fostering a deeper comprehension of your true self and the values that matter most to you in life. The world no longer needs to feel overwhelming; instead, it can transform into a canvas filled with endless possibilities, infused with the vibrant hues of your fresh insights and dreams. Through solitude, I learned resilience and how to carve my own path, teaching me that being alone doesn’t equate to a lack of support or love. Rather, it signifies my strength to stand independently and my courage to embark on the journey of self-discovery.

Are you prepared to embrace solitude? Do you know how to enjoy your own company without feeling overwhelmed? If you’re unsure, I’d like to share some tips on how to find peace in solitude without overthinking or stressing out.

First, start by setting aside a specific time each day for solitude. This could be as simple as a quiet morning coffee or an evening walk in nature. Allow yourself to be fully present in these moments, focusing on your breath and the sensations around you.

Next, engage in activities that nurture your soul. This might include journaling, reading, meditating, or exploring creative pursuits like painting or playing music. These practices can help you connect with your inner self and provide a sense of calm and fulfillment. It’s also important to practice self-compassion during your time alone. Reflect on your thoughts and feelings without judgment, and remember that it’s okay to feel a range of emotions. Solitude is a journey, not a destination, and it’s perfectly normal to encounter challenges along the way.

Additionally, consider disconnecting from digital distractions. Turn off notifications and take a break from social media to fully immerse yourself in the moment. A digital detox can help clear your mind and enhance your connection with yourself.

Lastly, remind yourself of the benefits of solitude by setting intentions for your alone time. Whether it’s gaining clarity on a decision, nurturing your creativity, or simply recharging your energy, having a purpose can make your solitude more meaningful and rewarding. Embrace these moments of solitude as a precious gift, a time to rediscover who you are and to cultivate a deeper sense of peace and self-awareness. If you find yourself in need of support during your wilderness journey, consider my Shadow work book, “Embracing the Shadows.” Also, if your faith feels shaky at this time, “Trusting God in the Storm” will also be beneficial. Both resources can serve as valuable tools to help you achieve peace and progress on your journey.

I sincerely hope this message resonates with someone.

-Shell