I know some people may get tired of hearing me say this, but I will never stop saying it. Try Jesus. Get to know your Father in heaven.

In my upcoming book, set to be released in March 2026, you will finally get a front-row seat to my journey. You will see everything I endured and how I became the resilient woman I am today. I have always been resilient, but for a long time, I was also a victim of myself. I lived with a victim mindset shaped by negative self-talk. I replayed the same thoughts over and over again. Why did this happen to me? Why does this keep happening to me? I stayed stuck there far longer than I should have.

Then something happened in 2014 that changed my life forever. God spared my life, and in doing so, He taught me a lesson I carry with me every single day….NEVER QUIT!

If you are a soldier, you understand how deeply that phrase is etched into you. Waking up at 0400 in freezing weather, standing in shorts and a T-shirt, reciting the Soldier’s Creed until it becomes a part of your DNA…

I am disciplined, mentally and physically tough. Trained and proficient in my warrior tasks and drills…. But the line that always stayed with me, the one that anchored me through the hardest seasons of my life, was this: I will NEVER accept defeat; I will NEVER QUIT!

And I haven’t.

Life has been hard. At times it has been overwhelming. At times it has been painful beyond words. But I have never quit up on myself, and more importantly, I have never given up on God.

Today was a self-care day for me. A day of peace. A mani-pedi, brows, waxing, resting, and stillness; kind of day. I was enjoying the calm when I noticed something familiar happen. Someone I have firm boundaries with saw me out. Someone who no longer has access to me. Shortly after I got home, the calls started coming in back to back. When I didn’t answer, a text followed. He spoke in the most manipulative, fake sad voice, “You don’t talk to me anymore?”. Instead of going into a long draining conversation; I maintained the boundary. I informed him of my choice to exclude him from my life for 2026 and moving forward, which is why he had not heard from me or received updates in months. I kindly asked that he refrain from contacting me in the future. Then blocked him and went on with my day. 

And that moment reminded me of something important. Never giving up on yourself also means refusing to fall back into traps that no longer serve you.

We are not battling flesh and blood. We are battling principalities. The enemy often uses people to distract you from your purpose, especially when you are finally at peace. I’ve noticed a pattern in my life. Before my first marriage, I was focused. I was working out daily, enrolled in school, praying to be stationed somewhere exciting, dreaming of traveling the world with the Army. Then suddenly, my first husband entered my life, and everything shifted. If you’ve read Trusting God in the Storm, then you’re already aware of how that marriage concluded!

Before my second marriage, I was thriving again. Focused, traveling, living independently, and raising my two older boys. In a good place mentally, emotionally, spiritually. And once again, chaos ensued, and that chapter of my life will be unveiled in Unveiled: The Secrets That Saved Me. (March 2026)

I say this clearly: God doesn’t bring the right people into your life during chaotic times. Chaos leads to distractions, not meaningful connections. The person who contacted me today was used to being there when I was broken and exhausted. I sometimes picked up the phone not out of need, but because I was seeking comfort in the wrong way.

One day, after getting off the phone with him and sitting with my journal, it hit me. Instead of calling a person, I should have gone to God first. I decided then that I would stop seeking validation, comfort, and answers from people and start seeking them from God alone.

Last year, I made a decision. My line is no longer open to everyone. After much contemplation, I made the tough decision to end a friendship that spanned over twenty years, marking the conclusion of my only male friendship. Someone I literally grew up with, dated for a while, and have consistently stayed in touch with. I did not end the friendship because of hatred or bitterness, but because I outgrew the version of life that person was stuck in. I am not living in twenty years ago. I am not living in fifteen years ago. I am not even living in two years ago. I am focused on the present and on where God is taking me next. (Isaiah 43: 18-19- Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See I am doing a new thing!)

Sometimes, you have to cut people off to hear God clearly. Distractions are not always loud. Sometimes they come disguised as familiarity, comfort, or concern.

Today, I am focused, self-assured, grounded, and at peace within myself. I do not allow chaos into my life anymore. I do not allow anyone to disturb my peace. And I have learned something powerful. When you are truly at peace, it agitates the enemy. There are people who hoped you would fail without them. People who prayed you would be miserable, broken, and stuck. When they see you flourishing, it unsettles them.

They will try to provoke you, argue with you, call you, text you, and check on you. Wonder why they no longer have access. And the truth is simple. They will not hear from me again!

If I did not share children with my former husbands, communication would not exist. Because when I detach, I detach fully. The only reason communication remains is for the sake of our children, and even then, it is respectful, cordial, and limited.

I now view my past marriages through a different lens. I see them as brothers in Christ. I pray for them. I wish them well. But beyond that, they get nothing from me. No access, no emotional labor, and no distractions. When I say no distractions, I truly mean it. I’ve even recently acquired a different phone number and a separate phone for the father of my children to use for communication. I’ve realized how crucial it is for me to maintain boundaries and ensure that lines do not become blurred.

Setting boundaries is crucial, especially when you’re at your lowest. It’s important to be mindful of the people you allow around you during vulnerable times. I know many women can relate to this. Seeking attention or validation from men during seasons of chaos. I have been there. I had no intention of pursuing anything physical or serious with that man, but I allowed attention to fill a void. Once you stop living in chaos, you no longer crave validation from people.

Where I am now, I can go weeks or months without a call or a text, and it does not bother me. I don’t have any boo’s, situationships, or friends with benefits, and I love that for me! As long as my loved ones are safe and well, my phone can stay silent. I am content in my happy place. Writing, reading, praying, meditating, sitting in peace, and protecting my temple by any means necessary!

I do not want anything in life right now, except God and my peace.

I said it before, and I will say it again. 2026 is my year. Everything the enemy tried to steal from me in 2020, 2021, 2022, 2023, 2024, and 2025 is being restored. Not only restored, but multiplied. This year has already been abundantly blessed.

Life is not perfect, but life with faith is lighter. Hard seasons are still hard, but they are not unbearable when you know God. That is why I say this with sincerity. Try Jesus. Build a relationship with your Father in heaven. Be mindful of who you surround yourself with. Be careful what you listen to. Be careful who you seek advice from. This world is full of unhealthy people and unhealthy noise, and you do not have to participate in it.

Since I have fully committed to my faith, people have naturally fallen away, and I welcome it. And for those who thought it was only a phase; it’s not… It is a lifestyle.

My upcoming book is closure. It is the ending of old chapters and the answering of questions I have been asked for years. It represents healing, growth, and forward movement. When I began sharing my testimony in 2020, people connected with my authenticity. I was a voice for women who felt unseen and unheard. I want to return to that space, not as someone stuck in the past, but as someone standing firmly in healing and purpose.

Women carry so much. We nurture, we provide, we lead households, we raise children, we work, we worry, and we plan. Our minds rarely rest. Learning how to slow down, meditate, pray, and care for myself has changed my life. I am not perfect, but I am consistent.

So this is my message. NEVER QUIT! Keep your FAITH! Focus on what is above, not what is below. Be intentional with the people in your life. Make sure they bring you closer to God, not farther away.

I am living in answered prayers right now. And if God did it for me, He can do it for you too.

Stay grounded, stay faithful, and be RESILIENT! -Shell