Hey loves,
I haven’t shared much about what’s been happening behind the scenes, but please know—your girl has been working hard. Not just on healing, but on creating something incredibly special. I’m deep in the writing of my next book, and let me tell you, this project is different. Writing while going through a divorce has been one of the most unexpectedly beautiful blessings. I’m healing through my own words, page by page. Breakups, as painful as they are, can be blessings in disguise. When you’re in a toxic relationship, it’s easy to have blinders on. You’re too deep in it to see clearly, too emotionally entangled to recognize what’s really happening. But since we’ve been apart, clarity has become my new companion. For a long time, I blamed myself. I carried the weight of the marriage not working, believing I wasn’t enough. But through reflection and healing, I’ve come to realize—I was not a bad wife. I was a woman who loved her family with her whole heart. I thrived in our family dynamic, I nurtured, supported, and held things together even while being criticized and projected on daily. I worked hard financially, emotionally, and spiritually—trying to be everything for everyone.

So here’s the truth behind this blog:

That breakup? It’s not your ending. It’s your new beginning.

If I could say one thing to any woman navigating the aftermath of a breakup, it would be this: give it 11 weeks. I remember the first 10 vividly. I was broken, hurt, confused, feeling unworthy and unloved. But in week 11—after weeks of praying—I woke up, and it didn’t hurt anymore. I no longer craved the connection or the conversation. I simply wanted peace, closure, and a healthy co-parenting journey for the sake of my children. One of the hardest truths I’ve learned is that a person will not change unless they want to. No matter how much you love them, plead with them, or compromise for them—change is a choice. And healing is a journey you must walk on your own. There will be days you want to go back. On those days, remember why you left. Remember the tears, the loneliness, the gaslighting, the chaos, and remind yourself—you don’t owe anyone an explanation for choosing peace, not even the one you’re divorcing. Recently, I’ve been dealing with constant projections from my ex—accusations, gaslighting, criticism. It’s exhausting. But through therapy, I’ve learned that consistent false accusations are often projections—a reflection of guilt or fear on their part, not truth. It’s not easy, especially when you co-parent with someone who can be nice one moment and manipulative the next. It creates emotional whiplash that leaves you wondering, “Should I try again?” But every time I ask myself that question, God reminds me: remember the reason you left. This season has taught me that I can’t control anyone else but Michelle. I can’t fix what someone else refuses to see. I’m divorcing not because I gave up, but because I finally chose myself. And sis, I’m not perfect. In my marriage, I had unrealistic expectations. I wanted leadership, but I married a man who didn’t yet know how to lead himself—let alone a family. We were two people lying next to each other, emotionally distant, staying for the kids. I was vocal, passionate, and present. He was avoidant, aloof, and reactive. And the truth is—I settled. I saw red flags from day one, but I convinced myself that “nice” was enough.

Spoiler alert: Nice is not enough.

Especially when what you really need is character, consistency, capacity, and Christ at the center.

I married a boy hoping he’d grow into a man. Now I’m divorcing a man emotionally stuck at eleven years old. And while he’s off living carefree, avoiding responsibilities, and still trying to control me—I’m over here healing. Prioritizing therapy, protecting my peace, rebuilding my physical and mental health, reconnecting with God, and loving on my babies. And guess what? I’m living again. I’ve reconnected with old friends and family, started traveling, and for the first time in over a decade, I’m having fun. Real joy. No guilt. No shame. Just freedom.

Here’s what I want to leave you with:

• Don’t feel guilty for moving on.
• Don’t waste your energy trying to convince your ex of who you are.
• Don’t let anyone define you by their broken lens.
• And don’t sit around waiting for them to recognize your worth.

Live your life. Heal loudly. Love yourself deeply. And know this—God will vindicate you. The battle is not yours.

My next book is going to be a bestseller. Not just because I believe in it, but because the pain, healing, growth, and God-ordained revelations that went into it are undeniable. There are stories I haven’t told yet—but I will. Soon. And when I do, you’ll feel it in your soul.

In the meantime, if you haven’t already, start with The Healing Journey, and then read Trusting God in the Storm. Both are available on Amazon, Audible, and Apple Books. I also have special signed copies of Trusting God in the Storm available on my website at iamcoachshell.com.

Stay connected with me:

Instagram: @indieauthorjourney_

TikTok: @indieauthorjourney

Website: iamcoachshell.com

Until next time, keep shining, keep healing, and never forget:

Your story isn’t over. It’s just getting started.

With love and purpose,

Shell